My Malaysian hosts know that I am keen to try anything new and different – so they took me to a special Durian market. Now if you don’t know what durian is, let me tell you. It is a fruit that is banned from 100% of the hotels in Malaysia and you are thrown in prison if you try to take it on an airplane? What kind of fruit can cause that much havoc? Durian.

It’s awful.

It tastes like a peach soaked in tar and sulfur, without the peach flavor. It also has the consistency of monkey brain and the smell of a Taun Taun. If it gets in your car, the smell stays there for over a week and the scent alone is known for making people wretch in public.

In sum, Durian is bad, maize is what the Indians call “corn”, and the South shall rise again.